when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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