So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
