I heard we made out
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
