It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
