Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize