i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize