How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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