So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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