So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
