well you can't waste a boner
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
