After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the day after is always just damage control
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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