i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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