Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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