New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
