That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dick very happy bro
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
