make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
