We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
