He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
