I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
