I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize