he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
