Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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