im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
