we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
