Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
