do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
