If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
