Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
