Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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