i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
