i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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