My brain says no but my pants say off.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
No subtext here. People are naked.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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