How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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