what if every blade of grass was a penis?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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