We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
