she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Randomize
