You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
