Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize