i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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