he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
