How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
