The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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