i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
