Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize