I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You're a waste of cheezeits
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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