i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
