Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That accounts for only three of the penises
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
