please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
