please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
