Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize