apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
