It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
