chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
