yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
