she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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