So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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