its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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