I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
