So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
