Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
