Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
