the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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