We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
