I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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