i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
