When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
