I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
