pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
