Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
