Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
