You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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