Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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